Interesting Week

Early in the week, but it has certainly been an interesting one so far. Monday started off helping a young writer believe in herself again. Writing can be a lonely business, underappreciated, unless you are the fraction of a percent who make it big. Then went into a day of solving dozens of tech issues, and not selling anything. Then today I woke up to an Instagram message from someone considering suicide who needed someone to talk to. By the grace of God, I was able to help her and be used by God to minister to her. Which led into my taking up an ask for an editor when her book project is complete. Followed by my booking in some more book readings and writing workshops in schools. My October is slammed and November is starting to book up. And the week is only half over. God is good! Can I get an Amen?!!!

Hunting Black Dragon Now Available

My sequel, Kids on a Case:Hunting Black Dragon, is now available for purchase, one quick and easy way to purchase is through the itunes store!

http://itunes.apple.com/ca/book/id1434910792 

Check it out and let your friends know!

Canvases Against Cancer Fundraiser

Fun new fundraiser for the Children's Cancer Month of September. Proceeds will be going to the Cancer Society. The Pictures are the canvases available to purchase for this fundraiser, link below.

https://tpeters745.wixsite.com/tonyalexanderphoto/canadian-cancer-society-fundraiser

New Blog Location

I am VERY excited to announce that I will be transitioning my blog to this website. Feel free to follow/become a member for regular updates on posts. I have entered an initial blog post as a welcome and explanation. Grow with me, as I grow :) Check it out below!

https://tpeters745.wixsite.com/tonyalexanderphoto/blog

The end of great times, and the beginning of new adventures!

Battle of Good and Evil

A poem close to my heart. Written based upon my experience in attempted suicide, that, thankfully, was stopped by the Good Lord. Hope you enjoy and take in the meaning behind the words. 

Battle of Good and Evil

In these times my heart sinks, my mind is filled with dread

Sorrow clouds all my thoughts; my lips can no longer smile

Tears pour down my anguished face as I see the pain of others

My gut is filled with knots and turns from my terrible angst

Trembling I hit the cold ground, weak from desperate sorrow

My feet and legs have lost all will to hold my heavy weight

Hands that no longer hold or grasp; arms that no longer lift

Helplessness fills my very being, unable to give aide

Screams fill my aching ears, my eardrums threatening to burst

Blood encompasses my nostrils, burning itself into my brain

Bitterness lights itself on my tongue, torturing my taste buds

Sourness rapes my mind, forcing its way into my memory

All hope seems lost, faith ebbs, disappearing like smoke

Darkness encompasses the very existence of humanity

Storm clouds fill the sky, swirling in bitter angry circles

The wind whips furiously, dust tears harshly at my face

Death is immanent, roaring like a black train in the night

But wait, all hope may not be lost, some may yet remain

Light bursts through the darkness, piercing the cloud’s heart

Thunder is silenced and lightning out shone by the sunlight

Cutting wind is calmed, replaced with a peaceful silence

The sourness in my memory, overthrown with joyful throngs

The bitterness on my tongue turns to a beautiful sweetness

Scents of flowers creeps into my nostrils, replacing the blood

Joyful cries burst through the screams, ears leaping for joy

Strength comes to my limbs as I push to my feet again

Hands grabbing my sword, arms lifting them high in the air

My gut now untangles its knots, jumping back to life again

Tears of joy rain down my face, glittering in the sun’s rays

A smile breaks my solemn lips, my heart pumping excitedly

We have been freed from our dreadful, painful sorrows

Hope is restored; victory is within our straining grasps

Victory means survival, survival is to live another day

To live another day, is to laugh in the face of immanent death



Thanks for reading. Hope this poem can mean as much to you all as it means to me. As always let me know your thoughts in the comments and feel free to share, just give credit where credit is due. 

New Website

Got a new website for a combined space for my writing of novels and poems, as well as all of my photography. Looking forward to having everyone check it out and give my their thoughts.
https://tpeters745.wixsite.com/tonyalexanderphoto

Hoping this will be a convenient way for everyone to find my posts. And maybe buy a few pieces, as well as getting information they may need.

Babbling On Poem

A fun poem entry today for those starting summer holidays. And those with children complaining of boredom. The cure? Get them writing, reading, or heading outdoors!

Babbling On

What to do? What to write?

I want to write so bad it hurts

My head says yes, my hand agrees

My brain is overused and stressed

Losing interest, unfocused

The words just will not come

From my tired and overheated mind

My heart won’t guide my pen

For it is to preoccupied with love

How can I write

In such a state as this?

Guess I’ll just write nothing

Cause nothing’s coming to mind

You simply can’t write what isn’t there

I think I’ll just go to sleep

Cause I’m feeling

             So v

                       e

                          r

                               y

                                   

                                   t

                                                   i            

                                           r

                                             e

                                                 d

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thanks for reading. Hope you all enjoy your summer holidays. Remember I don't mind you sharing, just give credit where credit is due!

Beautiful Love

Beautiful Love

Your beauty, your beauty, where to start?

You are like a beautiful sweet-smelling flower

One glance and I think I am in heaven

One look and I think I’ve seen an angel

Two looks and I know it must be true

We talk and all my troubles fade away

Our eyes meet and my heart races

You smile and I know I must be in love

We hug and I can’t stop thinking of forever

You say I love you and my world spins

If this is love, never let it stop

If this is a dream, I hope I never wake up

My head says dream on, but my heart says it’s real

Either way, I don’t care, as long as you are with me

Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed. Feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments, and share this. Just make sure you give credit where credit is due. 

Avalanche

Happy Canada Day post! What's more Canadian than snowy winters? Here is a short poem as a cool down for the summer heat. Enjoy!

Avalanche

An innocent looking hill

Turns deadly in one quick second

A heart-stopping rumble

An earth-shattering roar

The sound of death is heard

As the snow turns into a flash flood

Racing towards unsuspecting skiers

Looking up in horror, too late

Blinded, falling victim to the beast

The roaring lion

Has already eaten its prey

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think in the comments or by sharing this!

Remember if using this poem, give credit where credit is due!

Ages of Love

A much brighter and more cheerful poem for today's entry. Hope you will all enjoy reading.

Ages of Love

To dream the dreams of a thousand years and fall in love as many have before me

The same story playing out time and time again, each time with a new twist

Each time the love is the same, yet each time the love is so very different

The love I feel, is the same love felt thousands of years before I discovered love

The same as that love the wandering nomad felt when in search of a mate

The same love desired by the noble knight, fighting for the appreciation of a fair lady

As the sailor, sailing home to see his fair maiden; who is awaiting his return

As the soldier, fighting to protect his wife and children from harms dreadful grasp

Love has connected all these ages, though thousands of years have gone by

As love has connected so many hearts, though the hearts are miles apart

Love strikes at the heart and soul of the world, knocking down all defenses

An unstoppable force that no one, nor anything can protect against or destroy

But something so beautiful and so divine as love, should not be obstructed

The look in their eyes, the smile on their faces, the tender touch of a loving hand

The passionate kiss and the delicate, loving embrace of protecting arms

What better dream can anyone hope for, then to dream of an unconditional love?

For thousands of years love has been dreamed of, by every heart and soul

Some find it; some do not, but those who do…                

               

                                                                  Set the stage for another thousand years

Thank you for reading! Hope it was to your liking. Let me know in the comments below. 

After the Party

I apologize this is a very dark poem today. Originally this poem was written for a book I was writing, from the perspective of the main character in the novel. The main character has been abused and writes from that experience. The book has been in the works for a while, it has been a tough one, that I have stopped writing at many points. Who knows, I may never finish it, but I figured I would share a poem from that novel, which I have named, Insignificant Voices. 

After the Party

Doorbell rings and in they come. Parents welcome all who show

Out come the drinks for one and all. Laughing. Drinking. Smoking

House begins to reek. I hate this place with all my heart, stinking house

Desperate for them all to leave, put a bitter end to this night unending

Get the stings out of the way, blows rain down like blood after a battle

Music so loud, pounding but I don’t mind. Music drowns out the voices

Voices I hate. Voices I despise. Murmuring incessantly like cicadas  

Cops crash the party. Angry neighbor made a noise complaint

Could they not have come earlier? My night can finally be over

Gone, gone at last. Gone except for the two whom I hate most

Why couldn’t they be drunk enough to forget where they live?

I wish they’d go away with all their stinking drunk and stumbling friends

They order me to clean up their mess; I knew they would, as always

Every party is much the same, that’s how I know what’s to come

Shivers run down my spine, someone stepping on my welcoming grave

A tear burns bitterly down my cheek, but the worst is yet to come

Mom has passed out gracefully on the couch, that’s one less for later

Dad stumbles drunkenly towards me, fearfully cringing in anticipation

The first slap. I don’t move. My head spins, my head hurts, blasted

Second slap, my nose bleeds. A flood of crimson red anger rising up

Hatred courses bitterly through my veins, darkening the world around

A punch; right in my gut. Laughing drunkenly as I throw up, jerk

Another punch blackens my eye. Each week gets worse and worse

One last punch. I fall down and he laughs harder. I hate him more

He kicks me now and I cry, unable to contain it any longer, unbearable

Falling down, he passes out. For him the day is over, memory wiped clean

A broken rib, a bloody nose, a blackened eye, a split lip, damage surveyed

What kind of lowlife trash does this to his son? Not worth the air he breathes

Every week is much the same. Next week will be a little worse

A tornado of anger and hate billows destructively inside me, full of ash

The devil’s fire burned into my soul. Devil, laying there, grinning, asleep

I can still barely breathe, gasping through stabs, jerking with the effort

That snake winded me, I want to kill this piece of trash when I catch my breath

I want to rid my world of this venomous snake who should love me

Breathe, breathe, I wish but the ragged breaths are becoming more difficult

Seeing two of him, great, just what I always wanted. Merry frigging Christmas!

I feel so sick; my head is spinning like a top and hurts, no, throbs so bad

I smell my vomit beneath me and alcohol from this drunk’s clothes

Why can’t I breathe?!

Darn it, what’s wrong with me?!

Get up!

He’s really done it this time! Hurts worse than any other time before

Not that he cares, he’s going to love this when he wakes up

Heck he’ll love it so much, he’ll want to do it again, a reason to drink

Not that he needs a reason for that. Any excuse is a good one

Can’t breathe. Coughing. Blood foamed lips. That can’t be good

Why can’t I have an end to these beatings?

I feel so darn dizzy!

Why do I feel so dizzy?!

Oh so…

              Dizzy

                       Almost

                                   Like

                                           I’m

                                                 Drowning…

 

Thank you for reading, I promise the next poem I post will be a lot more cheery. Would love to hear some feedback!

Windows: A Look To the Past

A freshly written poem, hot off the press. Difficult to write, but think I finally got it right. A glimpse into my past. Again nothing aimed at causing hard feelings or casting blame. I have dealt with the past, and this is just my brain's way of processing. 

Windows

Look in the window, what do I see?

I see a baby, crying out for some love

Mother there in body, but nothing more

Too depressed to notice the needs of a child

Look in the window, what do I see?

Father struggling, raising kids on his own

Marries again, hoping to find truer love

Mother not there, trapped in a cycle of men

Look in the window, what do I see?

Child gets molested, forced to do what is wrong

Parents in shock, not sure what to do

Lost and ashamed, never speak of the pain

Look away from the window, too much to bear

To much depression, a child so confused

Unsure how to handle the thoughts in his head

This can’t be normal, feeling so alone

Look in the mirror, what do I see?

The same little child, keeping people away

Let no one near, afraid they might see

The monster inside me, the one that I see

Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts. Remember if you use this poem, I would appreciate you asking. If you share it, please give credit where credit is due. 

ABC's For God

Here is another poem that I wrote years ago. Kind of fun to look at now that I have kids.

ABC's for God

Absolute power He holds in His Holy hands

Beautiful and mighty is His precious name

Celebrate for He has given us salvation

Dance for the heavenly reward is in sight

Eternity with my Holy Savior is my reward

Forgiveness has been granted for my sins

Given freedom by the Holy Lamb of God

Happy to be in the presence of His Holiness

Intrigued by the thought of eternity with Him

Jesus paid the price for all who believe

King of Kings, I shout for all to hear

Lord of Lords, the angels shout in return
Magnificent is the glory of His name

Nations bow down at His glorious feet

Offering praises to their Majestic King

Pouring their pleading hearts out to Him

Qualms and fears disappear with their faith

Righteousness they know they have found

Save me Lord! They all cry out desperately

Trust has been put in the omnipotent Savior

Understanding their need for a miracle

Victory can only be found in the Lord

Wondrous is the grace and mercy of God

X-alted rightfully above all else, worthy

You only, can they trust with their souls

Zealous for Your honor they have become

Now I know my ABC’s, Lord help me remember Thee

Thanks for reading. don't mind you sharing this, just ask before copying the poem. Copyrighted. Feel free to let me know what you think.

Macro Flowers

Played around with my macro lens that I have been ignoring for a while. Only my second time playing with this lens. Found some great pics. Hope you will check out more at my Group Tony Alexander Photography on Facebook. Feel free to join and peruse! Share this post if you like!

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=oa.1542942005833741&type=3

Thanks for looking! Feel free to comment. I don't mind you using the images, just ask permission first. Thanks Again!

A Song for My Love

Most of my readers know by now that I am an author and photographer. Many will even know that I have been married to my high school sweetheart for over 11 years now. Little known fact though, is that I have been writing since I was 7 or 8. Back then it was stories. In high school I continued to write stories and began writing the book Kids on a Case: The Case of the Ten Grand Kidnapping, which I published while in college. In high school I began writing poetry, mostly out of boredom during class, as writing helped me focus. This is how I helped swoon the love of my life. The following poem is one of those written for her. I plan to compile these poems into a book that has been copyrighted and will be published at some point in the near future, so keep your eye out for that! I will be posting samples of the Copyrighted poems on my blog over the coming weeks, and I hope that you enjoy. Some are fun/silly, some are about love, some are about faith/hope, some are about struggles/dark times. I would encourage you to read these poems out loud, as that is how poems are meant to be enjoyed. So go ahead, find your serenity space, read it out loud, let the words surge through your veins. 

A Song for My Love

Where to go? What to do?

I feel so lost and so confused

I’ve never felt this way before

I’ve got butterflies and feel so dizzy

I should tell you how I feel

But when you’re around

I feel so short of breath

So torn up inside

The words I just can’t find

So let me tell you now

How I feel inside

For you need to know

When you’re not around

I just want to cry

For my heart aches so bad

I wish you’d never leave

So I could see your pretty face

And look into your lovely eyes

I wish I could tell you I love you

From the depths of my heart

That I’ll cherish you forever

Long into eternity

But the words evade my mouth

And for that my heart breaks

You deserve to hear those words

The words I love you

I want you, I need you

Without you I would fade away

I wish I could find the words

To tell you how I feel

My lovely sunshine

My beautiful rose

I hope this is enough

To make you see

Just how I feel

I love you

Thanks for reading! I look forward to your comments!

Vancouver Scenery

Here is the last of the Vancouver posts. Lots more pics but yo can check them out at my Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/453437844784168/ Tony Alexander Photography. These are just some interesting scenery pictures.

Thanks for looking!

Panic from Within

Was really anxious this morning, and for those who do not suffer from anxiety, I figured I would give some insight into the world of anxiety and mental illness in general. Hope you enjoy my poem.

Panic from Within

A painful twisting knot pressing on my diaphragm

Tightening, gripping, tearing away my breath

A disabling disease, as my brain works against me

A cancer burning through every inch of my body

Stabbing

      Thieving

              Confident

                       Weakening

                                 Destructive

                                          Crippling

                                                  Deadly

Panic sweeps through my veins, muscles clench

Blackness clouds my vision, blurring the world

Spinning, losing control, fighting for my very breath

Drowning

        Gasping

               Fighting

                       Battling

Mind over body, anxiety pushing against reason

Confusion

         Doubt

               Senseless

Powerlessness ripping apart my very existence

I must not give in, reason rushes forward, slicing

Battling back these forces of darkness from within

Light dissipating the fog, casting away the clouds

Anger

     Frustration

                 Bitterness

Winding up its own power, defeating the powerlessness

A sunrise on the horizon, night gives way to none-other-than

Hope

     Faith

          Victory

New Flower Pics

Here are some of my latest flower photos! Hope you all enjoy more to be found at Tony Alexander Photography on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/453437844784168/

Thanks for looking! Feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments, or check out more on Facebook.