I apologize this is a very dark poem today. Originally this poem was written for a book I was writing, from the perspective of the main character in the novel. The main character has been abused and writes from that experience. The book has been in the works for a while, it has been a tough one, that I have stopped writing at many points. Who knows, I may never finish it, but I figured I would share a poem from that novel, which I have named, Insignificant Voices.
After the Party
Doorbell rings and in they come. Parents
welcome all who show
Out come the drinks for one and all. Laughing.
Drinking. Smoking
House begins to reek. I hate this place
with all my heart, stinking house
Desperate for them all to leave, put a bitter
end to this night unending
Get the stings out of the way, blows rain
down like blood after a battle
Music so loud, pounding but I don’t mind. Music
drowns out the voices
Voices I hate. Voices I despise. Murmuring incessantly
like cicadas
Cops crash the party. Angry neighbor made a
noise complaint
Could they not have come earlier? My night
can finally be over
Gone, gone at last. Gone except for the two
whom I hate most
Why couldn’t they be drunk enough to forget
where they live?
I wish they’d go away with all their
stinking drunk and stumbling friends
They order me to clean up their mess; I
knew they would, as always
Every party is much the same, that’s how I
know what’s to come
Shivers run down my spine, someone stepping
on my welcoming grave
A tear burns bitterly down my cheek, but
the worst is yet to come
Mom has passed out gracefully on the couch,
that’s one less for later
Dad stumbles drunkenly towards me,
fearfully cringing in anticipation
The first slap. I don’t move. My head
spins, my head hurts, blasted
Second slap, my nose bleeds. A flood of
crimson red anger rising up
Hatred courses bitterly through my veins,
darkening the world around
A punch; right in my gut. Laughing
drunkenly as I throw up, jerk
Another punch blackens my eye. Each week gets
worse and worse
One last punch. I fall down and he laughs
harder. I hate him more
He kicks me now and I cry, unable to
contain it any longer, unbearable
Falling down, he passes out. For him the
day is over, memory wiped clean
A broken rib, a bloody nose, a blackened
eye, a split lip, damage surveyed
What kind of lowlife trash does this to his
son? Not worth the air he breathes
Every week is much the same. Next week will
be a little worse
A tornado of anger and hate billows
destructively inside me, full of ash
The devil’s fire burned into my soul. Devil,
laying there, grinning, asleep
I can still barely breathe, gasping through
stabs, jerking with the effort
That snake winded me, I want to kill this
piece of trash when I catch my breath
I want to rid my world of this venomous
snake who should love me
Breathe, breathe, I wish but the ragged
breaths are becoming more difficult
Seeing two of him, great, just what I
always wanted. Merry frigging Christmas!
I feel so sick; my head is spinning like a
top and hurts, no, throbs so bad
I smell my vomit beneath me and alcohol
from this drunk’s clothes
Why can’t I breathe?!
Darn it, what’s wrong with me?!
Get up!
He’s really done it this time! Hurts worse
than any other time before
Not that he cares, he’s going to love this
when he wakes up
Heck he’ll love it so much, he’ll want to
do it again, a reason to drink
Not that he needs a reason for that. Any
excuse is a good one
Can’t breathe. Coughing. Blood foamed lips.
That can’t be good
Why can’t I have an end to these beatings?
I feel so darn dizzy!
Why do I feel so dizzy?!
Oh so…
Dizzy
Almost
Like
I’m
Drowning…
Thank you for reading, I promise the next poem I post will be a lot more cheery. Would love to hear some feedback!
