Lately things have been a real battle for me. I have been diagnosed with depression, PTSD, and OCD. None of which really surprised me. I have been struggling with this for a really long time, and am finally getting the help I need. Discussing it with someone else, and seeking help was the single most difficult thing I have ever chosen to do. Wrote the following poem.
Darkness
Pain, sheer agonizing pain, invisible to the naked eye, yet more
devastating than the obvious
Sharp shoots from nerve endings as pricks try to distract
and relieve what is trapped within
Wish that physical hurts were enough, but are dim in comparison
to decades of trauma
Darkness, sadness, despair, all destructive and yet I
embrace them with knowing arms
Light, happiness, hope, all long gone, flittering moments in
time, cherished yet forgotten
Locked away within my head, a voice which commands, nay
demands to be triumphant
Control must be kept, giving in only in brief moments of
weakness, shame swift to follow
Shadows of darkness creeping around the fading edges,
nipping at the very heels of sanity
Battle lines drawn, wavering, slowly falling, entrapped by
inevitable losses, destroyed
Fear, desperate freezing fear, the unknown future, not
trusting the brain to do what’s right
Pain whispers from within, calling out, screaming to be
unleashed, set free, chains rattled
Tears, wish they would flow, yet not to be found, long since
drained, emptied, dried up
Fingers clawing, grasping for a hold, something to keep
afloat, drowning in snaring gloom
Eclipsed, falling into the abyss, lost in the blackness,
claustrophobic as the walls close in
Blindness, unable to see a clear path, confused by the thick
fogginess covering the road
If anyone else is experiencing depression and wants someone to talk with, please feel free to comment on this with contact info.
